Lately, I've been choosing happiness.

I completely defuse bad situations by walking away from conflict as soon as possible. I will leave rooms, houses, friendships; it doesn't really matter because if it's unpleasant it's dispensable.

Now most of you are thinking:
Wait, wait, wait, did this girl just say that friendships are dispensable?!?

and, as a matter of fact, I did--that is when "friends" treat you poorly.

I went to visit a long time friend and her new boyfriend (someone who I haven't liked since day one because the first time I ever heard about him was when she mentioned that he had forced himself on her, it's been two years since this initial honorable mention and the stories have just made her seem desperate, something that she shouldn't have to be--and yet--alas!)

The entire visit (a short lived one at that) was horrible, he and his friend were rude, and degrading towards both my friend and myself. As I left her, rather suddenly, I simply stated that I was choosing happiness and that I wouldn't settle for even a moments worth of unhappiness, and walked out with no formal goodbye at all (and as I walked away I felt proud, and laughed a little to myself, I was leaving a negative interaction with a smile on my face). I texted her to say that I was sorry, I just am way too happy to let someone be rude to me. He texted me back, on her phone, to insult me.

I simply replied with a "Thank you", he sent a second text with a little more emphasis, to which I replied "Thank you" a second time. He replied with a, "you're welcome...?"

obviously confused. it made me smile.

So apparently "please" and "thank you" are much more important then our culture is used to, and in so many more ways!

You will no longer haunt my thoughts.

Good-Bye, my friend.

So, about two months ago I decided that I wouldn't date anymore, therefore not really looking for the signs of being asked out on a date, so it kind of blindsided me.

I was asked by a friend to "hang out" which quickly turned into, "so, what do you want to do on our date?"

I thought about canceling but eventually decided against it simply deciding that I'd go and keep it simple.

It ended up being the best date I've ever been on, haha. We rode his dirt bike down to the lake, jumped in his kayaks, paddled around the water for a while (and wouldn't you know it, we didn't get wet at all!), and later ended up on the couch of his woodstove heated home, on the couch simply chatting the evening away. We hugged, and I went home, and all in all it was a great night.

When I was young, I loved a boy. When you asked me who I would marry as a child, I would utter his name slowly, cautiously, and red in the cheeks. We slowly lost touch over the years, and got to a point where we didn't speak at all, outside of one fluke phone call where I was feeling brave.

I called him, it was short, simple, and yet filled with feeling. We promised we'd stay in touch--we never did.

I used to think that maybe had I actually called him again things would be different, but I don't have that kind of power--only God does. This is just something that I'm realizing lately.

God wanted my friend, it was his time, and there was nothing that I could have done to stop him--and that is finally okay, I'm finally starting to understanding that.

(I do still miss you my dear friend though, this will never change)

This being said, I look back at our times together and I smile because I know that I share those moments with him, and no human can ever take those memories from me.

I do this with more then just memories of him though, I do it with several people that I used to be friends with, and once in a while I run into one of them and ponder back at those memories together. I'm very blessed with the amount of people that I've been able to do this with--and I'm also blessed in the sense that I have mostly happy memories.

I am now working on making new memories though, with new friends, good friends, and amazing people.

I'd like to introduce a couple to you, my readers.

The first, is my younger sister, Meghan.
Please excuse my very puffy checks (I had just had my wisdom teeth removed the day before, and my favorite band was having their farewell show, so I couldn't miss it)

This is a girl who I both love, and am so proud of (although I think I don't show that nearly enough). I guess I just hope that she knows that she means the absolute world to me, and that sometimes I just get a little crazy when it comes to advice, I just don't want her to repeat my mistakes. (case and point: Sean)


Next is Rachel.
She is a girl who in nine years we've driven each other nuts, but she's my BEST friend, and honestly, I'd never change that or give her up. I love this girl. She is one of my oldest, closest friends (sure, I have others for longer, but no one compares to this wonderful, beautiful woman. So, without further ado, Rachel! (In her complete halloween attire!)



Now, almost a year ago I met one of the most inspirational, wonderful women I think I've ever come across, and yet, she was down to earth and completely, totally, real. She's beautiful too! (and heck! she loves Africa about as much as I do, if not more, which is A LOT!) So, here she is, Jessie! (See, told you she was beautiful!) Unfortunately she recently moved to Cali, and I've gotta say that I miss her a great deal!



Next up are a couple of guys who I met recently (we all know that I love balance between guys and girls in my life!), and yet have quickly become lifelines that I hope to never lose. When Jesse and I started talking I instantly knew that I wanted to be friends with him, he was kind, funny, in the same stage of life that I am (about to graduate and enter this crazy real world!) and seemed to be learning something new everyday still (a quality I love about people!) Oh, and he had a kitchen--something that I lack (still, sheesh!) so he agreed to let me cook AND be my guinea pig for new food (score!) So, here he is, Jesse, my newest "best friend".



And, lastly, is a friend that Jesse introduced me to, who I'm still getting to know, but laughing with a lot. So, this is Josh, and he's great (and he likes to dance! which is good for me because I like to break it down once in a while too! haha) So, here he is (pictured with Jesse, who is on the right)



So, I think the moral of this post is simple, it's okay to lose friends and to "grow apart" because no one can take away the great memories that you have shared with them, but don't forget to make new ones in the process because you'll never know who you're missing out on if you don't look!

God bless you all, and I love you all too!

It's funny how people can walk into and out of your life like it's nothing, and then others are absolutely wonderful when they walk into your life--and hurt like crazy when they walk out again.

I've been blessed with a lot of walking in lately.

I have a sister, Meghan, (and a brother, Spencer) who I'm close to, best friends with, in fact.

I have a best friend who I've known for years, have walked with hand in hand for as long as I can remember. So Rachel, I love you.

I have a fairly new best friend named Jessie, who is absolutely amazing, and motivating, and I love her, too.

and then there is the inspiration of this post, a new friend who I'm sure will become one of the best friends I've ever had in my life--Jesse (or boy Jesse, haha, as there are now two!) He very recently walked into my life and it feels like God made this friendship in the palm of his hand, and it's good, and I'm thankful.