February 5, 2020
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Advice for [from] Someone in Mourning...
Two conversations — two different people — both littered with tears.
One, though, was more of a comfort.
I‘ve been thinking a lot about how to mourn — how to prepare for this loss — what I need to ask for to help me through this loss. I realized today that the very best thing you can do for someone who is hurting is to listen to them, to give them space to cry, to tell them it is okay. And to not offer advice.
Crying on my pillow in bed with my husband laying next to me — just watching me — letting me cry, creating a safe space to mourn this very difficult loss. Telling me he loves me, knowing he will do anything to help me, without saying a word except whispers of I‘m sorry this is happening, and soft I love yous...
No advice, no trying to tell me not to mourn this loss yet, because it’s too soon...
But it’s not too soon...my friend is dying, and it hurts to not be able to do anything.
and I’m going to miss his friendship — it’s one of the best I’ve ever known.
Cancer is just horrible...
But even though love cannot save him, I think it will help save me from so much more pain.
